Making Friends Like a Second Grader

Making friends as an adult can sometimes feel like a daunting task.

Unlike when we were children, where friendships were often formed over a shared interest in playground games or who had the coolest lunchbox, adult friendships require a bit more effort.

But what if we could tap into that second-grade simplicity again? Let's explore how adopting a childlike approach to friendship can help adults make meaningful connections, supported by insights from scholarly studies….I'm such a nerd ;)

Embracing the Second Grader Within

Remember the ease with which friendships were formed in the schoolyard? A simple "Want to play?" was all it took. Second graders often don't overthink friendships; they're drawn together by curiosity, openness, and a willingness to share experiences and fall off the monkey bars. As adults, we can learn from this straightforward, genuine approach to connecting with others.

Scholarly Insights into Adult Friendships

1.  The Importance of Shared Activities - A study by researchers at the University of Kansas found that it takes roughly 50 hours of time together for an acquaintance to become a casual friend, and more than 200 hours before you can consider them a close friend. This research highlights the importance of shared activities in forming friendships. Just like in second grade, when friendships were forged over games and shared interests, adults can benefit from engaging in activities together to deepen connections. Link to Article on Study
2.  The Role of Vulnerability in Forming Friendships - Another study, led by psychologist Brené Brown, explores the concept of vulnerability and its impact on forming connections. Brown's research suggests that being vulnerable and open about ourselves helps establish trust and intimacy in relationships, key components of strong friendships. This mirrors the uninhibited way children share their thoughts and feelings with potential friends, without the fear of judgment. Link to TED Talk with Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability.

How can we apply these in real life? 

- Be Open to New Experiences: Just like a curious second grader, be open to new experiences and activities. Whether it's joining a club, attending a workshop, or participating in community events, these are all opportunities to meet like-minded individuals.

- Share Your Interests: Don't be afraid to share what you're passionate about (even if it is dorky like going down a rabbit hole and reading studies about how to make friends 😀) . Whether it's books, movies, sports, or personal development, expressing your interests can help you find common ground with potential friends.

- Practice Vulnerability: Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Sharing personal stories and showing your true self can foster a deeper connection and trust between you and potential friends, much like the open and honest exchanges of childhood.

- Invest Time: Just as the University of Kansas study suggests, investing time is crucial in developing friendships. Make an effort to follow up after your first meeting, suggest another get-together, or simply check in with them. Friendship requires effort and consistency. 

- Embrace Simplicity: Sometimes, making friends is about going back to basics. A simple invitation to grab a coffee or go for a walk can be the foundation of a lasting friendship. Remember, it's not about grand gestures but the quality of the time spent together.

So, why not embrace your inner child and make friends like a second grader?